Okay, I'll be honest...I didn't think that today was going to be anywhere near as difficult emotionally as last Monday was.  I mean, starting kindergarten is a huge deal.  Starting your second year of preschool....well, not quite such a big deal.  And, to be brutally honest, I have told everyone within hearing distance, all summer long, that Abigail is driving me insanse.  And, she has.....there have been days this summer that I literally thought might head would spin around in frustration.  I have answered, on more than one occasion, when people ask if I was ready for school to start, "Well, for Gracie, no....I cry just thinking about it!  But Abigail, well, I could easily send that girl off to college and not blink an eye!"  I'm quite sure that there is more than one person out there who thinks that I'm an insenstive mother or that I somehow favor Gracie over Abigail.  If you're one of those people, I invite you to spend 24 uninterrupted hours with her.  You might change your mind...you might also run away screaming.  I love that girl....with all my heart I love that girl and it's a wild, all-encompassing kind of love that just blows my mind.  But, the child is exhausting. 

So, I'm thinking that dropping her off at preschool today is going to be a piece of cake.  Not so much.  At least not for me.  She, however, was just fine.  She walked into her classroom, waved goodbye, and got right to work, bossing the other kids around and talking non-stop to her teachers.  I walked out to the van, started it up, and realized that I was, yet again, biting back tears.  I spent the four hours she was gone piddling around with photography portfolio programs and trying to write a little bit of code.  I flipped on the TV and realized that I could watch whatever I wanted.  The thing was, there was nothing on TV that looked even slightly interesting.   The honest truth is that I miss her....she's exhausting, but the house is strangely quiet without her in it.  And, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself when I don't have to run interference all day, stopping her from putting on ALL of my makeup or taking EVERYTHING out of her closet, or dumping the ENTIRE box of 64 crayons on the floor.   

I downloaded the pictures that I took this morning and I realized that at least part of what was bothering me was that this is the first year that Abigail has headed off to school (or daycare) for that matter without Gracie.  The first day pictures just seem so strange with just her in them.  Gracie's last week didn't seem so odd to me....we have pictures of Gracie's first days without Abigail in them....Abigail wasn't born when Gracie started daycare and there was that year that Gracie went to preschool and Abigail stayed home.  But, this is a first for Abigail.  She's never been anywhere, really, without her trusted big sister.  I guess it's just another change that we all have to get used to.  Well, that I have to get used to...they both seem to be doing fine .  Next year, though, I wish they would start on the same day, so I can get all my crying out in one fell swoop.

Here's my big, little preschooler, headed off to her first day.  She loves her new backpack...it's Little Miss Chatterbox...could there ever have been a more appropriate backpack for a child...



Her famous "cheese" smile


at school ready to walk in...yes, her shoes are on the wrong feet....I tried to convince her to change them, but the girl is stubborn.  I was able to convince her before we left home to turn her shirt around, so I'll take my victories where I can get them....



With her first day flowers for her teachers


We walked home from school and she told me all about her day.  I asked her if she loved school.  Her reply?  "Yes, I loved it but not too much..."  When I asked why, she said, "Cause I weally want to go to kindragawden!"  Yikes!  They're killing me!  I took some cute pictures of her holding the snack bag I made her...when I came in I realized that there wasn't a card in the camera....I am really off my game this week