An Alfred Hitchcock Kind Of Day
Here's a picture that I took from my front porch the other day. 
It's pretty good isn't it? I just love that bird bath that Bronie, Craig and the girls gave me for my birthday several years ago. And the bird is just beautiful, isn't he?
NO!!! HE'S NOT! HE'S A HORRIFIC MONSTER! JUST LIKE ALL BIRDS!
Can I tell you something? I HATE BIRDS! More than that, I have a pathological fear of birds. I'm terrified of their beady little eyes, and their talon-like feet and don't even get me started on those beaks of theirs that look like they're just waiting to peck your eyes out. My bird fear extends to all of our feathered friends - chickens, ducks, geese. I don't know why - maybe it's the scar I still sport on my right knee from where the goose pecked me when I wasn't quite two years old. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm named, at least partially, after Daphne Du Maurier, who wrote the short story on which Alfred Hitchcock based his movie, The Birds. All I can tell you for sure is that I'd rather be in a pit fill of snakes than a yard full of birds. So, of course, given the last few weeks I've had, it makes perfect sense, that as I was walking out to my car, a mockingbird would attack me, not once, but twice.
Yep, yesterday will not go down in history as one of my favorite days. To start with I had to wear my glasses because Abigail shared more than her sweet baby kisses with me last week - she evidently shared her pink eye virus and trust me, I look nowhere near as cute with pink eye as she did. Then, I had to work until 6:00 again which would be fine if I was getting a lot of time made up, but for some reason I've been running really late getting to work this week, so I ended up only making up an hour. By the time the end of the day came, I was just ready to get home and play with the girls and eat some of the yummy taco bake that Steve was making. Yes, I have huge blisters in my throat, but if I chomp on ice for a couple seconds before I take a bite, I can eat almost anything. You didn't think blisters were gonna keep me from eating did you? Anyway, I turned off all the lights in the office and locked the front door because I was the last one to leave. I started out across the grass to the parking lot, thinking what a nice evening it was - it wasn't too hot and a gentle breeze was blowing. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. The mockingbird from hell. He came swooping off the roof straight at me. I screamed in terror and put my arms up to protect my face - hey it might not be a beautiful face, but it's the only I have. After a second or two, which felt like an hour, he flew off. I made it across the street, my heart pounding. Then, it happened again! He swooped down at me one more time and this time, I'm sure my screaming was even louder.
I'm pretty sure the picture to the right is what I looked like! Finally, he flew off to a tree, landed on a branch, and glared at me. The tree was blocking my path, so I went completely around a whole other building, slinking as close to the wall of the building and as much under the overhang as possible. While I know it's not completely true, since there are guards on duty 24 hours a day, it felt like the whole base was deserted. And while it wasn't completely dark outside, in my mind, it might as well have been. Picture a scene from one of the Friday the 13th movies, where you're screaming at the screen - "DON'T GO THAT WAY!" Every bird that flew within a hundred feet of me caused me to push myself even closer to the wall. When I came to the edge of the building, I sprinted the 100 or so yards from the corner of the building to the safety of the van. Since we can't use cell phones when we driving on base, I waited until I was past the gates to call Steve and relay my horror story. He, of course, laughed! And now, in the light of a new day, I can laugh a little, too. I'm avoiding the front door of the office at all costs though, because my research on the internet about mockingbirds attacking humans (really, I was looking to see if anyone had ever been killed by a mockingbird) yielded the fact that mockingbirds are extremely territorial about their nests and I'm thinking that the mockingbird from hell has a nest in the alcove above our front door. I also learned that the mockingbird is the state bird of Florida, and is therefore a protected species, so I can't kill it. Which would have been my first choice. But, I'll just avoid that door for a couple of weeks. I'm telling you though, if it comes at me again, I may be writing this blog from jail, asking you all for bail money....
It's pretty good isn't it? I just love that bird bath that Bronie, Craig and the girls gave me for my birthday several years ago. And the bird is just beautiful, isn't he?
NO!!! HE'S NOT! HE'S A HORRIFIC MONSTER! JUST LIKE ALL BIRDS!
Can I tell you something? I HATE BIRDS! More than that, I have a pathological fear of birds. I'm terrified of their beady little eyes, and their talon-like feet and don't even get me started on those beaks of theirs that look like they're just waiting to peck your eyes out. My bird fear extends to all of our feathered friends - chickens, ducks, geese. I don't know why - maybe it's the scar I still sport on my right knee from where the goose pecked me when I wasn't quite two years old. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm named, at least partially, after Daphne Du Maurier, who wrote the short story on which Alfred Hitchcock based his movie, The Birds. All I can tell you for sure is that I'd rather be in a pit fill of snakes than a yard full of birds. So, of course, given the last few weeks I've had, it makes perfect sense, that as I was walking out to my car, a mockingbird would attack me, not once, but twice.
Yep, yesterday will not go down in history as one of my favorite days. To start with I had to wear my glasses because Abigail shared more than her sweet baby kisses with me last week - she evidently shared her pink eye virus and trust me, I look nowhere near as cute with pink eye as she did. Then, I had to work until 6:00 again which would be fine if I was getting a lot of time made up, but for some reason I've been running really late getting to work this week, so I ended up only making up an hour. By the time the end of the day came, I was just ready to get home and play with the girls and eat some of the yummy taco bake that Steve was making. Yes, I have huge blisters in my throat, but if I chomp on ice for a couple seconds before I take a bite, I can eat almost anything. You didn't think blisters were gonna keep me from eating did you? Anyway, I turned off all the lights in the office and locked the front door because I was the last one to leave. I started out across the grass to the parking lot, thinking what a nice evening it was - it wasn't too hot and a gentle breeze was blowing. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. The mockingbird from hell. He came swooping off the roof straight at me. I screamed in terror and put my arms up to protect my face - hey it might not be a beautiful face, but it's the only I have. After a second or two, which felt like an hour, he flew off. I made it across the street, my heart pounding. Then, it happened again! He swooped down at me one more time and this time, I'm sure my screaming was even louder.
I'm pretty sure the picture to the right is what I looked like! Finally, he flew off to a tree, landed on a branch, and glared at me. The tree was blocking my path, so I went completely around a whole other building, slinking as close to the wall of the building and as much under the overhang as possible. While I know it's not completely true, since there are guards on duty 24 hours a day, it felt like the whole base was deserted. And while it wasn't completely dark outside, in my mind, it might as well have been. Picture a scene from one of the Friday the 13th movies, where you're screaming at the screen - "DON'T GO THAT WAY!" Every bird that flew within a hundred feet of me caused me to push myself even closer to the wall. When I came to the edge of the building, I sprinted the 100 or so yards from the corner of the building to the safety of the van. Since we can't use cell phones when we driving on base, I waited until I was past the gates to call Steve and relay my horror story. He, of course, laughed! And now, in the light of a new day, I can laugh a little, too. I'm avoiding the front door of the office at all costs though, because my research on the internet about mockingbirds attacking humans (really, I was looking to see if anyone had ever been killed by a mockingbird) yielded the fact that mockingbirds are extremely territorial about their nests and I'm thinking that the mockingbird from hell has a nest in the alcove above our front door. I also learned that the mockingbird is the state bird of Florida, and is therefore a protected species, so I can't kill it. Which would have been my first choice. But, I'll just avoid that door for a couple of weeks. I'm telling you though, if it comes at me again, I may be writing this blog from jail, asking you all for bail money....
I hope you are having a better day today. You have to admit that your life is filled with enough adventure that you will never run out of things to write about. Love you
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I love it! Evil, evil birds! I am glad that you are having a 'badder' day today. ILYLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
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